They have seniority. They have opinions.
They have absolutely no current responsibilities.
Well, there was plenty of space.
You didn't hire them.
Somehow, they're still on the team.
The laptop kept “just in case.” The printer nobody wants to move. The box of cables with no known purpose. After years in storage, they've formed a department of their own.
Now they have meetings about leaving. And a committee to schedule the meetings.
Personnel files
Department head
“I'm not slow.
I'm considering my options.”
Wants to retire. Insists on chairing every meeting about it.
Communications director
“No signal.
Still very informed.”
Knows everyone's business. Would like everyone to mind hers.
Director of paperwork
“That wasn't a paper jam.
It was a boundary.”
Has strong feelings about her job. And her shelf. And your tone.
Legacy systems / Desktop
“This entire company used to run through me.”
Has seniority. Would like a higher shelf.Connections / Cables
“I'm sure I connect to something important.”
A natural team player. Mostly because he's tangled around everyone.Research / Scanner
“I've looked into it. It's a PDF.”
Excellent at taking a closer look. Less interested in conclusions.Oversight / Monitor
“I saw the whole meeting. You're welcome.”
Takes the oversight role very literally.From the meeting minutes
Big announcements.
Very little happening.
Script excerpts. Animated episodes are in development.
Another box arrives in the cabinet. Hank calls the meeting to order.
HANK“Our department has doubled in size.”
GABI“What do we do?”
HANK“Occupy space.”
MARGE“And we're exceeding expectations.”
“Take us to EverTrade.FOR ONCE, A UNANIMOUS VOTE.
We've discussed it.”
A very unofficial office audit
A few familiar signs. No spreadsheet required.
Check anything familiar. The department is listening.
The characters are fictional. The cabinet full of retired equipment might be very real. This comedy series is being developed in-house by EverTrade Electronics Recycling.
They're in development. For now, meet the cast and read the scenes above. Hank has requested a progress meeting.
That's a real question for the EverTrade team. Discuss your equipment and data-handling requirements before arranging service. Explore data destruction services ↗